Late as the American Army

Raging Horse has been studying closely the habits of people  and in particular the way in which using a clock seems to be a thing of the past, unfortunately newer technology such as watches seem to have been lost on modern teenagers. Can no one tell the time anymore? The answer is no, seem as everyone thinks that half an hour is five minutes and an hour is a mere ten, although that timing would save us having to listen to the queens speech for quite as long every year-a bonus I’m sure you’ll all agree.

I am referring of course to the new form of time keeping which makes lateness a fashion accessory and the new IT word. Maybe this is a trend that was rife in the American Army for, well forever! With watches seemly set on oriental hours and people following the "it’ll be all good in the end" attitude is it any wonder the British empire now consists of a hut in Afghanistan and three small hot dog stands in Norway? This is the sort of behaviour that leaves Raging Horse looking like a right tit head for being there within five minutes of the time arranged- I won't be late for my funeral! Although due to this behaviour I have become incredibly good at whistling and my thumbs are now highly skilled in the art of thumb twiddling. I intend to broadcast the fact that clockwatching is only frowned upon in the workplace-it's perfectly alright to take the odd glance at your watch every so often-take a look it's fun honestly (in the words of Gary Glitter).

What's in a name?

Well friends, it’s been one hell of a busy month. Exams, gluttony and a brand new porno DVD have all taken their toll on my wellbeing. But there is an upside...During my endless pursuit of knowledge I have stumbled across a language technique that may just hold the key to my destiny. Thanks to the awesome power of alliteration I stand a greater chance of becoming a superhero than the average Joe. Peter Parker, Bruce Banner, Clarke Kent... all of these superheroes have rhyming names. Craig C... The next superhero. Unfortunately my partner in crime, Tom R stands less of a chance.

 And this is only for superheroes. I don’t want to hear "But Batman is Bruce Wayne, he's a superhero". As cool as Batman is, he isn't a superhero. The definition of a superhero is that they must have a super power. Like strength, webs, super-vision, lasers, or the ability to have a character called "Mr Freeze" and yet still get a sequel etc