Madonna: more famous than Badgers?

Back in the days during the lofty heights of B-Team success we played around with the idea of a newsletter format. While we never spammed the wider community with it, we also never published it. So here it is, straight from 2007!

When not recording hit singles, starring in movies, that if god existed he would send straight to video, penning racy sex manuals, and roaming foreign lands abducting small children to whisk back to the UK to devour in the kingdom of horrors, badgers like to relax by drinking bitter in their local pub and brewing premium strength lager in their basement. Madonna on the other hand, has been seen scavenging round bins for left over takeaway and foraging in freshly ploughed fields looking for tasty worms and roots. Not wanting to turn this fine publication into a celebrity gossip column I’m going to get to the real news...

The B-Team has now entered into the invasive fortnightly newsletter game. Many of you will find yourselves waiting by your inbox with some kind of perverted expectant pleasure. Much the same kind of expectant pleasure gay men get when they indulge in a high fiber diet, or old people get when sitting on the washing machine whilst watching Terry Wogan, Waiting for the high speed spin cycle.

"There may have been a funnell involved" (unrelated quote)

Critics and fans rejoiced last month when it was decided that the b-teams particular brand of subversive humour, sexism and beer worshiping was about to reach a more diverse audience.

This is where “The church of B-Team" comes in. Unlike Madonna's Jewish spin off krabalalala, Tom cruise's insane church of Scientology (nothing to do with science apparently... well maybe the fiction kind) or even the highly dubious "Christian faith", we ask nothing more of our followers than to enjoy themselves with a sociable drink, preferably a high quality beer or cider, or if you must a cheap Australian lager brewed in Edinburgh; There is no place in our church for carling C2, or any low alcohol beers.(I'm looking at you calibre).

 You may not think you need another religion but let me assure you, the baptism was a riot 

 (or what i remember of it... there may have been a funnell involved) and Raging Horse's cider graduation was legendary. Sure it can be expensive, but its a lot less fuss than the satanic rituals I used to perform... always wondering if it would offend my dark master if i were to get my goats cheaper by buying in bulk from Costco.

So loyal fans and new recruits, spread the word and spread the love. Next week raging horse will be taking the reigns, which is frankly baffling how a horse can take reigns. Find out how in 2 weeks time. 

Enjoy the issue. 

Iron Fist out.

Collect your own Multi-Ethnic Family